Rest in Peace; Nathaniel Hawthorne; May 19, 1864

I truly didn't know this.

The famous American writer, Nathaniel Hawthorne, died on this very day. His writing has influenced me greatly, teaching me and molding (as with many thing else). His writings were ever beautiful and I can do no good justice to this famous man.

He was born in Salem, Massachusetts, living his life much to the par of a religious, but also conscious man. He went much into the writing business, starting out slowly and learning. When he wrote, he seemed close to an Edgar Allan Poe style of storyline, following him, though retaining his originality in script.

He died in his sleep on this day, leaving several stories and romances unfinished.

Rest in Peace, Hawthorne.

Free Fallin' Poetic: In Memoriam "L"

Be near me when my light is low;
when the blood creeps and the nerves prick
and tingle; and the heart is sick;
And all the wheels of Being slow.

Be near me when the sensuous frame
Is rack’d with pangs that conquer trust;
And Time, a maniac scattering dust,
And Life, a Fury slinging flame.

Be near me when my faith is dry,
And men the flies of latter spring,
That lay their eggs, and sting and sing
And weave their petty cells and die.

Be near me when I fade away,
To point the term of human strife,
And on the low dark verge of life
The twilight of eternal day.

This poem has touched me and changed me. I am shaped by what I read. These words of a long dead man ring so clearly in my head. I find them leaping from my lips as I wander and walk, journeying.
But what do they mean?
Surely, they are words of grief, anger, emptiness, happiness and great love

"Be near me," I speak softly, watching upon a winter's night, my light so low that a deep breath would snuff it, for I dare not breath, nor do I dare look upon that which I should not. I dare not acknowledge the person, for she enraptures me and I am to blame for what will happen to myself.

Do not let yourself fall to feelings that cause distress or grief, much is to the ends and means of love and happiness. To strive to be happy, to make yourself happy, you will only shorten your life and destroy your own beliefs in the process. Instead of being happy and living loud for the next moment. Live softly and be content, in the moment you confide in.

Let not the beings sway you, but let yourself choose your path. Do not long for what is good, for life is not all good. Life can be distinguished between memorable acts and follies and destruction and strife, but it can also be marked with beauty and brilliant design from higher beings on softer planes.

In the process of attaining happiness for yourself, you destroy the others around you. That is not to say, you should stop your dreams, it is simply to say you should carefully choose your way. Bring good council and be in good company, to never be provoked.

Maintain and preserve your life and live for those around you, to make them happier.

A smile can live through a million years and still be crisp and curved as the minute that it came and passed. If all the world simply smiled, just once, just for a moment in time, it would be beautiful.

This is Matthias, smile.

Quote Play: Boethius

Famous men speak many wise things, they really do, I've been looking around quoted works and cited books, just t find what the true original words were. I found a site called BrainyQuote a while back and I've been taking quotes from there daily and applying them to my life, so here is a few broken down quotes I chose.






"A man content to go to heaven alone will never go to heaven."
-Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius



Let's analyze Boethius first. His life was interesting and he lived it within the Roman Empire. He was a Christian (or a Pagan) philosopher of the 6th century who had grown within Rome. He led his life as any other, but was soon to be found wise and then elevated into the ranks of Rome hierarchy, achieving the rank of Magister Officiorum (the head of government and court services). His two sons also rose with him, becoming consuls under his wing. Boethius was to be executed in time, having been accused of a plot against the Roman Empire, allegedly working with Justin I of the Byzantine Empire. His remains were entombed in the church of San Pietro in Ciel d'Oro in Pavia. He is recognized as a saint by the Roman Catholic Church. His feast day is October 23. Pope Benedict XVI has insisted on his relevance to modern day Christians.



Boethius, though having been wrongly accused of crime, seem to have been a man of great merit and of remarkable genius. This quote resonates to me. It breathes will to live and to seek that someone. If there really is a someone for everyone. I really haven't been thinking that there would be a someone, but whoever that someone is, I dearly hope that they'll come soon.

Stopping for now, Matthias out.

This Rain

It's been thunderstorming all day.

I love rain and the lightning and thunder that follows. It soothes a mind and frees a soul.

Listening to music, too, every song seems to go to the beat of the thunder which vibrates and rattles against my window, which, by the way, is open.



Next time a thunder storm strikes in your area, go to a wide space with a bunch of windows inside wherever you live. Put on speakers, plug them into your music player and then blast metal and do mosh dancing. Bring a camera and video recorder. Post it on youtube and give me the link, haha.

Other wise enjoy the rain fellow Kenoshits!

A warning sign

So, I was listening to coldplay and I had the song "Warning Sign" come up. I went to change it, in favor of a more beat worthy song, but i decided to let it go.

It went and it went, and it made me somewhat sad.

Here's how the words went:

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and I realized,
she was an island and I passed you by,
You were an island to discover.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go.

So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.

end.

Here's a video too



Point is, I feel so regretful, somewhat sorry for what I've done. I feel regret, I feel depression, then the song ended.

I love moody music.

A most frustrating game

This short story is a follow up to the original story, The Most Dangerous Game. If you haven't read that, read it here (http://fiction.eserver.org/short/the_most_dangerous_game.html)

Without further a do:

A most frustrating game


Rainsford sat, waiting patiently for the sun to rise over the tropic canopy. Rest took him dreamily, the morning afterwards finding him in front of a lazy breakfast with the General. It seemed Zaroff was in an ecstatic mood, having finally met his match in wits and cunning. Rainsford and Zaroff sat across from each other in a well adorned and varnished table, clearly of old age and sentiment, contributing to the old fashion of the place. Slowly, Zaroff’s other varied servants and cooks brought in delicate foods of exotic value and some ever more familiar to an American appetite. As they set in, Zaroff began to speak, in a friendly manner, “My dear, Rainsford, it seems I have come to an impasse. You have beaten me in our game, but it seems it’s been itching at me for another go. Shall we?” he asks curiously, a toothy grin flashing across his face. In answer, Rainsford merely shrugged, looking over his breakfast concerned that if he would continue the conversation he’d never get to finish. Gulping a second helping of crepes, Rainsford answers back, small chunks of food blowing out of his mouth, “Ah, bu’ this time I ge’ to choose.” Zaroff nods, smiling, “Very well, it is your choice now, what would you choose?” Rainsford smiles and then gulps his food down, “Chess.”

After a few hours, Rainsford and Zaroff sat at the same table, at about mid-noon, a chess board laid out in front of them. Rainsford looks Zaroff in the eye and grins, Zaroff returning the look, though a bit less confident. With a few quick movements, the chess board is set and all the pieces are ready, Zaroff as black, Rainsford as white. Zaroff fingers a knight piece, deciding his first move, murmuring, “So, ah, what are your rules, Rainsford?” Rainsford smiles, “Just that I can continue to live here and that none who are shipwrecked will be harmed. You may challenge me as much as you want, but the game will always be chess, sir.” Zaroff raises an eyebrow, then shrugs, moving to place the piece as his first move, smirking mischieviously about his plan.
Ten moves later, Zaroff stares in disbelief at the board, almost not moving, barely even breathing as he takes his defeat. Not only had Rainsford beaten him once, but now it was twice. Rainsford grins and snickers almost incontrollably, gripping his sides and then standing to wink at Zaroff, “Ah, then, Zaroff, you’ve been beaten again. I’ll let you challenge me once more, if you wish.” And Zaroff, filled with disbelief, agreed to a new round, viciously placing his pieces back.
In another fifteen moves, Zaroff was left wanting, his king captured again. Rainsford merely chuckles, then steps off to find something else to do, “I’ll be off, then, challenge me any time, General Zaroff, I swear anytime you win I’ll appraise you.” Rainsford chuckles and then walks out of the room, leaving Zaroff flustered and red-faced. With a cry of anger and anguish, Zaroff knocks over the table, standing up in a furious rage, screaming, “Damn you, Rainsford! Curse you!” he wails.
There wasn’t another game of chess played in that house ever again.

This Blog

This blog will serve as a dump for my thoughts and rambles, whatever isn't well thought, but is rather just a vomited thought from my mind will appear here.